Truly thankful

It's a blessing to have another new bundle of joy coming into our family. I am really relieved that the test result is positive after so many sleepless nights. Too many things happened during the first quarter of the year. I nearly brokedown and I kept telling myself to be strong. This year was not a rosy year for me when I didn't receive my bonus and increment. A double whammy for me when my gynae told me to go for the Amniotic fluid test as the Down syndrom risk was pretty high, 1:15. I was devastated and I admitted I was also very scared. I get agitated very easily and eyes were often tearful. I tried to control my emotions whenever someone asked me how is everything. I wished I could tell them that I am ok but actually deep inside I am not. I was taken by surprise when my cousin, WanShan revealed to me that she was told by her gynae to go for the amniotic fluid too during her second pregnancy. I was not told to go for the fluid test during my first 2 pregnancy, probably one of the reasons was that I didn't opt for the blood test.

I am really grateful that everything turns out well. My heart really skipped a beat when the clinic called. I was really relieved and happy that I could keep this child. I am also grateful to those who had prayed for me and comforted me in my dumps. I am glad I still have so many friends standing by me. Really thankful from the bottom of my heart.

I love Mummy and I love Daddy

I love to put Aldric to a test for his love for me. I thought that since he always clings to me, definitely our bond is stronger.. just to satisfy my thirst for his affection and love, I will time after time, ask him this question over and over again. Who do you love most, daddy or mummy? nanny or mummy? mummy or grandma? No matter how I many times I asked, his answer would always be the same. I love mummy and I love daddy. Or I love nanny and I love mummy. I love mummy, I also love grandma. I am insatiable and I would insist that he must choose one only. I must admit, that has really put him off, and he will reiterate his same answer again.

Pretty?

Sitting on our queen-sized bed, my little tyke was studying the photo frame hanging abv our bed.
Who is that in the photo? I asked him, wondering if he could still recognised us in our makeover.
"Mummy and Daddy.", he replied without tad of hesitation.
"Wow, so clever." I said.
"Mummy pretty?", I asked him,
"Yes." he smiled at me with his beaming eyes...
Then I point to myself. "How abt now?", I asked him again.
He looked at me and then back to the photo frame and then he shook his head
"Not pretty.".

I pretended to look 'sad'.
Seeing that I am 'sad', the little impressionable 4-year-old immediately tried to comfort me by singing a different tune.
"mummy u keep long hair that u will be pretty again."

"Like the one in the photo?" He nodded his head and smile. I smiled back, giving him a big hug.
Seeing that I am happy with his answer, he also returned me with his wet kisses.

After watching 少年杨家将

After watching 少年杨家将...i cried...

Could have felt the same pang of guilt and pain if Aldric were to be lost for so many years...

Tears welled up my eyes when his son vent his years of frustrations on his mum for losing him in the battlefield and left him all alone and terrified.

Ya, it must be very terrifying for a 10-years-old child. It's really amazing that he could survive after so many years... must have undergone a lot of hardships and pains....

So helpless and lonely....no wonder he is filled with hatred and in dilemma when he finally returned to his home....

He could have many dreams...wonderful life...wonderful parents, siblings to play with..to talk to.
The more I think about it, it really hurts my heart...my heart really goes to him and his mum....

There were so many stories about separation of mother and son. We are so lucky to have Aldric right besides us.

Wanted so much to hug my Aldric and tell him we love him and will not leave him alone..

We do make mistakes and sometimes, it's too late to make amendments..

But the bonding is always there, no matter what....

Lost in the sea...

Couldn't find the pouch that contains the thumb drive and the tokens. Alamak must have misplaced somewhere...
hope that could find it today...have search high and low at home and office but still could not find it....
remember taking out from the bag for some reasons, but couldn't find it now...did u see it Aldric?
want to cry already...

Today is the second day, still could not find the pouch with the tokens...yesterday already turn upside down but still to no avail...
You jiu mu also didn't see it, neither your ah gong...mummy is really going to panic now.....

lesson learnt: never put everything into 1 basket., never try to take out your things and place it somewhere else...cos I got such short memory,
it's difficult to recall where i have last placed it. Trying to recall why I took out the pouch.... did I drop it???....got a hole in my bag...Sobs...
but the hole is not that big leh...so this could not possibly happen.... How I wish the pouch can talk.... can you hear me? i am really desperate...if worse come to worst, have to get new tokens, imagine have to get 3 tokens... and also my thumb drive...do i have any important stuff there....luckily there's no unforbidden content inside...anyway, it really must be somewhere around...

It's always like that, when u search for the thing, it will not come out, when u didn't search for the thing, it will just appear in front of you...Just hope things really work out that way...Really pray hard......just called home and see if got any luck but still not luck....sigh.....getting really panic now....